Right now, Rachel Zinman is crowd funding a book: Yoga for Diabetes, which could make a difference in the lives of millions of people who live with a chronic illness Here's her story about being diagnosed with Diabetes, the journey of acceptance that followed, and how she gave things a positive turn. Take it away, Rachel!
I'm a yoga teacher and l live with a chronic illness. I'd rather I didn't — but that's how it rolls. Things started falling apart slowly, in pieces. It all started with my digestion… I tried everything, from colonics to fasts and ayurvedic cleanses, but nothing worked. Eventually, I got a real diagnosis: type 1 diabetes. I was floored. My first thought: "Diabetes? Are you kidding? People like me don't get sick like that!"
Beyond Denial
The first step for anyone living with a chronic illness is to emerge from denial. This is actually the hardest step. If you're used to being healthy, the denial can often run very deep. I believed at the time that yogis simply couldn't get things like cancer or diabetes. Yogis live forever! I totally thought that I could just meditate and "breathe my way out" of my illness. Well, I was wrong.
Living with It
Once you accept your condition, the next step is to find a way to live with it, to be able to wake up each day no matter how bad you feel and experience the beauty in being alive. Gratitude is key, making the little everyday things into big wins: laughing, seeing a sunset, chatting with a friend, eating a meal, getting through a yoga practice.
Turns out, less is more. A few years into my illness, my doctor taught me that I had to learn to say no in order to be able to say yes. It meant not going out to that party, or not returning that phone call just because I thought I should. Every time I felt I had to do something ,I realized I was extending myself beyond my reach. It took a while to stop feeling guilty, but it was worth it. Knowing your limits and being kind to yourself should be your number one priority.
Sustain Yourself
When I first got sick I had to reframe my approach to my yoga practice. I had always loved pushing myself to the edge, but pushing myself like that became too exhausting. I had to find ways to meet myself where I was rather than where I thought I should be. My yoga practice morphed into long ayurvedic oil massages, beautiful flower mandala creations, and soothing candle gazing meditations. Instead of full asana practices, I turned to mantras and mudras, and the study of vedanta. Understanding myself, my role in creation and the reason for my existence became motivating factors. To really be with what was happening I had to understand who I was, living with the disease. Once I grasped this, the suffering abated.
Don't Be Angry
I might never be free of diabetes. But that doesn't mean I'm not free. We can never be the diagnosis, the disease or its results. We have a disease but the disease doesn't have us.
I used to get angry with myself for getting sick, and angry that yoga wasn't a cure for it. Luckily, the passage of time and a consistent yoga practice soothes even the most wounded heart. Now, I'm actually grateful that I got sick: it's given me a purpose and a passion. I love sharing through my classes, and writing about how everyone can benefit from the width and breadth of yoga. Anyone can start at any age, under any circumstance. All you need is your body, your breath and the enthusiasm to try.
Rachel Zinman is a senior yoga teacher and teacher trainer with over 30 years experience. She is currently completing a book on Yoga for Diabetes. Help her publish the book and make a huge difference to millions of people worldwide who live with a chronic illness: visit her campaign now and make a pledge. You can also find out more on her blog.
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